Raising some more!

It's been a while since I last updated my blog so I thought with my AS exams finished and a few other things out the way now would be a good time to update everyone.

My last lot of scan results showed that my tumours had stayed the same and hadn't grown, meaning the cancer was stable. This hopefully means it is dead but they'll carry on scanning to check that it doesn't come back. It's also been nearly a year since I finished treatment now, so I'm one year closer to being given the all clear! One down and four more to go! 

My last effort to raise money for TCT with the Lost Boys Rally reached a grand total of £1200! It's fantastic that so many people donated and I'm grateful to all of you. This money goes to help so many young people across the country and I was honestly amazed at how generous everyone was! 

My next charity event is happening this Saturday in Newcastle. I'll be participating in a zip wire across the River Tyne. The zip wire travels roughly 280m across the river, from a height of 40m! I'm not scared of heights but I imagine I'll be questioning as to why I signed up to do it once I'm up there! 

If anyone wants to sponsor me I've set up a just giving page, the link is below.

http://www.justgiving.com/Nick-Massey3

I've also received a video of the speech I did at the Royal Albert Hall back in April. I hate watching myself back but I've been told to put in on here for anyone who wishes to watch it, although I can't bare to! 

I'll hopefully be going on Radio 2 at some point in the future, so I'll be sure to let people know when! Thank you in advance to who sponsors me, you're really making a difference! 

Just to let people know I'm still here!

Hello everyone (well by everyone I mean the people who are occasionally checking my blog for updates!) I'm really sorry that I haven't had time to write anything new for a while but I've been really busy with exams etc but I should hopefully be doing a proper post soon!

Thanks to everyone who is still checking and I hope some of you have found the stuff I've posted previously useful! If anyone has any questions regarding anything they can send me a private message on here or on my twitter!

Scan Results

Today I returned to Leeds General Infirmary to receive the results of my CT scan that I had last week. It's somewhat nerve-racking getting scan results. The reason they scan my lungs first is that they will show up any new tumour growth because they're soft tissue so any tumours will grow their first, rather than in the bone. If any tumours start growing again then I'll have to have chemotherapy again and depending upon where the tumours are, an amputation. However, all of these treatments would only be to attempt to hold the cancer off as if it returns following all the treatment I've already had it will most likely return again and again. This is way these bi-monthly scans are so important.

Scan from September 2010 before chemotherapy and the one on the right, showing the current situation.

Luck was on my side today though and my scan was clear. A small amount of scarring showed up in the top left of my left lung, as a result of all the chemotherapy I've had but apart from that it was fine. I can't even tell you how relieved I am about this and how amazing it is! It means I can relax somewhat until my next scan in June. All I have to say is HOORAY!

This weekend I'll be taking part in a road rally around Yorkshire in support of Teenage Cancer Trust. The rally will include me driving around Yorkshire dressed up as batman (and the car done up as the batmobile) completing various challenges, some of which will be fairly embarrassing for me! I know I'm not allowed to take the batman outfit off for the whole weekend! As I've said all the money goes towards Teenage Cancer Trust. This charity helped me so much through my treatment, providing support for me and making the ward in Leeds my second home. Even being back there today has made me almost miss it! Almost anyway!

I'd absolutely love it if some of you could sponsor me! It really is a fantastic cause and you'll be helping so many people. Having cancer as a young person is always something that happens to someone else, a friend of a friend. That is until it happens to you or your friend, your child or your grandchild, your brother or your sister. Then you realise how horrible a disease it is. Teenage Cancer Trust does its best to help young people with cancer and they require your help to carry on helping. Please sponsor.

http://www.justgiving.com/Nick-Massey1

Week of Worry

Today was the last day of probably two of the most interesting two weeks of my life. I've spent about a week in London, met many amazing people, spoke on stage at the Royal Albert Hall, started raising money for my next charity event (£500 sponsored so far! More on this in a few days) and generally had an amazing time. If the rest of my life carried on like this I'd have one amazing life!

CT Scanner

Today I also went to Leeds for a CT scan of my lungs. The CT scan is my regular two month scan to check the tumours in my lungs to see if they've started growing again or not. The reason my lungs are scanned, rather than my main tumour on my pelvis is because if any new tumours start growing anywhere they'll most likely start growing in my lungs first. This is because cancer cells travel in the blood and because a lot of blood go through your lungs and it's a soft tissue then it is likely they will show their first.

The scan will show up if I have new tumours or not. If I do then I'll start chemotherapy again, but the chances are it wouldn't work as well again. The next week is going to be what I like to call one of my 'weeks of worry'. I'll receive the results at about 11:00am next Monday. Until then worrying about what might be on the scans will be on my mind constantly. From the moment I wake up until the second I go to sleep. It puts things into perspective somewhat. It certainly encourages me to make the most of this week!

I'll be sure to update you all when I get the scan results next Monday.

Royal Albert Hall!

Good evening everybody! It's been a bit of a crazy week for me! To start off with about two weeks ago someone I know who works at Teenage Cancer Trust rang me up, completely out of the blue. I didn't have her number saved so wasn't sure who it was! She offered my the opportunity of going on stage at the Royal Albert Hall and doing a speech at one of Teenager Cancer Trust's gigs. She asked if I wanted to do the comedy night with Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, Alan Davies, Tim Minchin, Dave Spiky, Stewart Francis and Jon Richardson.  I was somewhat taken back and agreed to do it!

Roger Daltrey holding my arms up after I'd finished speaking!
April 2012

I got the train down to London on the morning of Monday the 2nd of April, I brought one of my closest friends with me as well. I have to say I absolutely love London so just going there was good enough for me, my favourite place in the world by far!
After arriving in London and having a look around the Museum of Natural History my friend and I headed to the Royal Albert Hall. We were given our access all areas pass and went backstage. We had a look around and on the stage. It was at this point I realise the Royal Albert Hall was quite big. It holds roughly 5000 people and I think all but 90 tickets had been sold for the comedy night. I was going to be speaking in front of roughly 5000 people!

Before I went on I met Roger Daltrey, one of Teenage Cancer Trust's patrons. It was amazing to meet him and I also met all the other comedians briefly before. I asked Roger Daltrey if he was going to be introducing me. He found this funny, as not many people get to ask the lead singer of one of the biggest bands ever if he'll be introducing you! Jimmy Carr also asked me what flavour cancer I had, with me replying that I had chocolate flavour. It might taste of chocolate for all I know!

I was going to be going on stage just after the interval, so I went to my seat in the audience to watch the first half of the evening. It was a night of spectacular comedy, I don't think I've ever laughed so much!

At the beginning of the interval, I dashed down to the backstage area and met up with Roger Daltrey again. We waited at the side of the stage to go on. Roger fell over an piece of equipment just off the stage, so I helped him up. I'm proud to say I helped up one of the greatest rockstars in history!

A video played about young lad with a brain tumour and how Teenage Cancer Trust helped him. Watching this nearly made me cry but I had to try not to. I was seconds away from going on stage in front of 5000 people! After the video Roger and I walked out on stage. Before this moment the biggest group of people I'd done a talk to was roughly 50 people. I also realised that 5000 is actually quite a lot!

As Roger was speaking I began to think maybe I should've thought about what I was going to say before I got on stage! I really don't know how I actually made the speech, I hadn't thought of a single word and I honestly just did it from the heart. Looking back I haven't a clue what I said but apparently I got some laughs, which is always a good thing!

As I finished Roger Daltrey came back on stage and held my arms up as everyone gave me a round of applause. Best feeling ever!

As I came off stage all the comedians said I did a really good job, which coming from such talented people was a huge compliment. I then returned to my seat to enjoy the second half. I got a good number of congratulations and pats on the back as I made my way through the audience. It felt somewhat surreal!

After the second half I went backstage to have a drink with all the comedians from the night. It was amazing to meet so many talented people and I was so grateful to them all for agreeing to do the night, all free of charge. They were all so friendly and I can't believe I met them! Talk about moments to remember for the rest of your life!

Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, me, Roger Daltrey and Alan Davies.
April 2012

I'd like to use this last bit to say thank you to the comedians for doing the gig for free and for being hospitable. I'd also like to say a huge thank you to everyone who came to the Royal Albert Hall that evening. You're all making a big difference.

Last One for March

Today is sadly the last day or March and therefore the last blog entry I'll be making.

For March at least! I will continue to blog but not every single day. I'd like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has been reading and sharing and I'm truly grateful to all of you. The amount of messages I've had from people who I've never really spoken to has been amazing and I'm love hearing from you. In many ways it has been inspirational to me to have everyone's support.

I'm not well at the moment and I won't officially be cancer free for five years. I will continue having scans every few months to ensure that my tumours haven't started growing again. They tumours are still there but fingers crossed they're dead!

I've learnt a lot from having cancer as a young person. I've learnt the names of drugs and about types of cancers which I don't think anyone should have to find out about until their about 90! It is often seen as an old persons' disease but it can affect every single one of us. It's always something that a elderly relative has, or some distant acquaintance. That is, until you get it yourself. I sincerely hope that I have encouraged at least one person to go the doctors to get something checked out. It'll have made it worth it all worth it. A few weeks or days can make the difference between life or death.

I've also learnt about what is important in life (to me anyway) and I believe (or hope) that it has made me a better person. I value things differently and I doubt an exam will ever stress me out again! It has definitely make me appreciate my family and friends more. It has made me more outgoing as a person and I'm less likely to judge someone before speaking to them. After being stuck on a ward with a bunch of strangers for a few days I suppose you have to get used to talking to people you haven't met before! The people I have met along the way have been some of the most amazing and awe-inspiring people I could ever have the good fortune to meet, and I hope I'll carry on being friends with them.

My experience has also encouraged me to start fundraising, with my current figure raised/helped to raise being around £30000. I have had so many amazing opportunities given to me. On Monday the 2nd of April 2012, I will be going on stage at the Royal Albert Hall to speak about Teenage Cancer Trust. I will be on my own in front of roughly 5000 people. Before having cancer I would've been too nervous to do it. Now, it doesn't even phase me!

I've only got one chance at life. One opportunity to live it to the full. To cram in as much as possible. To sing, dance, shout, talk, learn, laugh, love and live. I've learnt to seize every opportunity.

Many people find cancer scary and at first it is. But you learn to deal with it, to live with it. I've lost many friends along the way and not a day goes by where I don't think about them. I think about the lives they won't get to live and it pushes me to live mine to the full. Cancer isn't something to be scared of and it's that affects everyone.

There are four things cancer can't do-

It can't stop the love I have for my friends and family

It can't stop me laughing

It can't get rid of my spirit

and it can never stop me smiling.

An unorthodox 18th

My 18th Birthday was on the 9th of December 2011, and I had a party with all my friends and went out for a meal. It was a fantastic birthday by all accounts because I ended it drunk as a skunk!

It wasn't until the next day that I found out that one of my friends, Ali, had passed away the day before. Ali Turner was 19 when he died. He had been diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2010 and after months of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and brain surgery, he was told that his tumour had gone and that he was in remission. It returned in early 2011 and he started chemotherapy and radiotherapy again. He was told that the chemotherapy had stopped working and there was nothing they could do for him in August 2011.

Ali was always an inspiration to me and someone to look up to. His type of cancer was also very rare and it made me realise that even when things looked bleak you could still fight on and make the best of things. Ali's parents and his sister were on the ward a lot and were the loveliest people you could imagine. I couldn't and still can't understand why bad things happen to the nicest people. Life truly is unfair sometimes. 

Ali's funeral was held on Thursday the 15th of December. Afterwards we went back to the golf club he played at it made me realise how many people just one person can affect. It was heart-wrenching to hear his friends speak about him, but also amazing because it made me realise what a great person he had been.   I think about him every single day without fail and I'll never forget him. 

Ali, his parents and his sister

RIP Ali Turner.

I had my scans in late January, following all my exams and they didn't show any new growth, luckily. This was the last proper scan that I had and so far I don't have any unusual pains or coughs, so hopefully nothing has started growing again. I have scans every few months to look for any sign of new cancer growth. I will have this for the next 5 years, at which point I will be a survivor. At the moment, I'm still classed as having cancer and although I sincerely hope it doesn't start growing there remains a risk that it may. I worry about what would happen if it does because it would most likely mean I would only have a while left. This thought is with me every day, every hour and every minute. Whenever I have scans coming up I worry so much about what could potentially happen.

I guess the only answer is to live each day as if it's your last. Take every opportunity given to me and try not to worry. We are all dying and it is the inevitable end to each and every single one of us. Don't waste a day because you'll never get it back. 

Live your life, it's the only one you get.