I was still very weak though and I could only eat small portions but I was slowly building my appetite back up. The reason my appetite was so poor was because while I was being fed through my port, my stomach was completely bypassed, meaning that it shrunk, so to suddenly start eating again came as a shock to my body and it would take some time for it to get back to normal.
My consultant still wanted to see me, so every week I had to go with to Leeds for a check-up. I was still at risk of catching an infection or for my kidneys or liver to stop working, so I was confined to being with a few people at a time until my bloods were high enough. I wasn't properly allowed anywhere busy for the next three months.
I tried everyday to get out and do something, starting with walks around my village. Being a bit lazy I often couldn't be bothered to walk very far but I started talking photos while I was out and I think in many ways I appreciated how beautiful the area around where I live is.
|Also it was sunny! I found this strange having been stuck inside from the beginning of March!|
|Sarah and I. I looked pretty pasty after a month of being in hospital!|
I saw many things differently after my high dose chemotherapy and Beth passing away. I realised that you only get to live one life and there's no point wasting any of it. I realised I have to make the most of it, because none of us are here forever. If you want something, go for it. I knew I was still very very weak and ill. Even a small infection could still kill me, but I also knew that I had to struggle through this to be able to live the rest of my life. Cancer had taken 7 months of my life so far and it had also taken my friend's life. I knew that I would have plenty of time to make up for when I was well, and I decided I would grasp everything in life, take every opportunity, do everything 100%, never give up and to always try and do things that bit better. I also decided I had to give something back to all the people who'd helped me.
I was told by my consultant that although I had finished my chemotherapy, as soon as my bloods were higher I would begin radiotherapy. The idea of this would be to kill off any remaining cancer cells in my main tumour. I was to begin this at the beginning of June, when my bloods should hopefully be high enough.
Onwards and upwards!