|Sarah and I at Rosedale, North Yorkshire.|
It was bloody cold.
I was so terrified of dying and I had no idea what I'd do if I was. Sarah would always be the one who I spoke to about this, no matter what time. I honestly can't remember the amount of times I rang her at 3am so upset and worried about dying. She was always there for me.
When I lost my hair in hospital and she saw what I looked like bald, she cried so much but she was always there to support me when I needed it. She was one of the only people to see me when my face was covered in spots and she tried her best to make me feel better about it, although I still thought I looked like the creature from the black lagoon!
|Sarah and I again (well in my mind anyway).|
Sarah also has custody of my sperm, meaning that in the event of my death she would be able to use it to have my children, meaning that even if I die I can still have children. I've always found the idea of this slightly strange but also quite interesting. How many other people can claim to maintain the ability to have kids after they've died?
I would've done anything to have spared Sarah from having to go through everything with me, I even considered leaving her when I was diagnosed so she didn't have to. But she said she wanted to help me as much as possible. In many ways it was even worse for her than it was for me. I had charities such as Teenage Cancer Trust there to support me but there isn't anyone to support partners of cancer patients, except for their families and friends. This often means a lot of pressure is on the girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife and they often need someone to turn to themselves.
I'd like to say thank you to Sarah's friends and family for supporting her support me. I'd also like to say thank you to one last person. Sarah. She cared for me and told me everything would be okay, even though she sometimes didn't believe it herself. I'll always be grateful to her and she's still the person I fall back on for everything. I'd be completely lost without her.
Thank you Sarah.